Happy Thanksgiving 2018

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays. It's not about the "story" or the food, it's about at this time of year, where people are responding to the thought of being thankful. We should always feel grateful, life is crazy good. We have our ups and downs but there is always something to be grateful for. Sounds cliche, I know, but it's true.

There is always something, though, think about it. When you look around and see the magic of life everywhere, it is hard not to be thankful for the beauty. As dorky as it sounds, I love, love, love to look at trees, to walk among the nature. I feel so at peace, even when my life has been completely turned upside, it brings me peace.

I don't have family around me. Well, not my immediate family anyway. My mother is living in another state with my brother and my step-dad. My father had been murdered in 2014. My children, well, they don't have time for me while they are living their own journey. My oldest and my youngest keep in touch the most but I don't have the chance to see them often. My daughter (oldest) is living out of state and my son (youngest) is hanging out with friends, going to college and just being a 22 year old. I had been married to my ex for over 20 years but his family is his family. I don't really see them except on Facebook. Many were good to me and so I feel an attachment I am still trying to let go of. It's been years, you would think it would be easier.

I do have my boyfriend's family, his family has welcomed me within their family. It's strange, we are not married but I feel comfortable and easy with them, like I do have a place. For a few years, I had no one. Like I had mentioned, the whole Facebook thing. Sometimes I wonder if my life's lesson is to learn to let go. I have a difficult time with that and tend to hang on much longer than I should.

So, Thanksgiving. It's a time to be thankful. I am thankful for my boyfriend's family. We have been together for a few years now. It just feels natural to enjoy the holidays with his family, Regardless, even when I was alone, Thanksgiving makes me feel happy.

The fall time, the scarecrows, pumpkins, sometimes there are Christmas decorations up and it just feels like the start of people being kinder and more thankful. I have learned, gratitude means more to me.

I do random acts of kindness every month. I want to make people feel thought of or special. That is what makes me happy inside, truly. I do not always have to be known, often times I don't sign my name to cards or flowers being sent. It touches me that people tend to know it is me, though. I don't expect anything in return except to know that they were given a smile on a bad day or given some comfort through a difficult time or just feel special because someone thought of them that day.

That is what makes me most happy, giving. I love to give. Not so much receive, it makes me uncomfortable, but to give is everything to me. Makes my heart burst with happiness and excitement.

It's both sad and beautiful that Thanksgiving brings that gratitude and kindness out of people. It's sad because that should be how we all behave throughout the year. It's beautiful because when people recognize and acknowledge that they are thankful and blessed, their demeanor changes, they become less stressed and less in a rush.

But it is only at Thanksgiving that it becomes that kind, thankful time. People are not typically that way every day. It is okay to have bad days but people take everything for granted until Thanksgiving. I enjoy feeling and witnessing that. I enjoy the sense of togetherness that people exude. Differences are set aside, people hold the doors for others, they are just much nicer.

This year the gathering was at my boyfriend's cousin's home. The kids playing and laughing will make you laugh, won't it? I enjoy hearing giggles and watching those kids play. They are all growing up so quickly, it's hard to believe. I wonder how many more Thanksgivings we will have before each of those boys (there are 3 - his cousin has 2 and my boyfriend has 1) begin living their own lives with their own families. I can only hope that they will continue to want to spend time with all of us.

The food was delicious, as always. I have a confession. While Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays, I typically don't eat turkey and rarely at Thanksgiving. I know, it seems a bit weird because I want to make a big deal out of Thanksgiving but it's true. I simply like the feeling of the holiday. That's it. That's all I care about. That feeling that it gives me. Nothing more. I didn't eat the turkey or the pies. I ate some great sides. I had some great conversations. I played some fun family games. I enjoyed hearing what each person was thankful for.

Which reminds me! This year, they started with my boyfriend's son. He touched my heart like no other. He proudly announced that he was thankful for...... Me! He gave the most incredibly beautiful and moving reasons why. I could not be any more touched by him and my own son making me feel good on Thanksgiving. The boys were most definitely loving. It was beyond beautiful and completely unexpected.

I love Thanksgiving because the word itself is "Thanks" and "Giving". I love Thanksgiving for the feeling of gratitude.

Besides, Thanksgiving sets the tone for Christmas, right? Am I the only one who begins decorating their home for Christmas the day after Thanksgiving?

Happy Thanksgiving, all.

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