Out with the old, in with the new

Well, it has been eight months. I started off scared but confident, and here I am grateful and remaining confident. It was so painful, and sometimes I felt as though the pain was suffocating me. I couldn’t breathe, or there was this ache inside my being that was almost unbearable. I thought I would never survive it or end up running back to that which had once broken my spirit.

I shed everything. I couldn’t believe how much I gave up. Only a suitcase and $2.00 in my pocket, I let go of over 22 years of memories. I discarded it all.

I let go of material things. That was difficult. The memories. The life I had. It was not always difficult; it was terrific at first. I feel sad when I think about it; I miss those times. Before the drugs came into our lives and ruined the “him” that I knew. I let go of those material things that held those memories.

I let go of old “friends” who had sat idly by and watched as I suffered through years of a crumbling life. They listened, they saw. They said nothing. Not to help open my eyes earlier or guide me. Isn’t that what friends do? Don’t they look out for your best interest? I was in a fog and needed a light. So now, to assure they are not blocking my view or providing the shade, I have shed them to see the light.

I let go of the job that held me connected to people, old “friends,” to him. I had no idea what I would do, but I realized I needed to start over. I had no idea how I would do it; I just knew I had to do it. I took that leap of faith blindly.

Out with the old, in with the new. Everything from this point on will be from the new phase of my life. Everything. It was not easy, but it was necessary. I recognize I cannot carry any of my old life into the new. Yes, I shed it all.

Out with the old, in with the new!!

#newyear #resolutions #old